There are two kinds of people in this world: Ones who go on diets and ones who are actual human beings.
Hey, we have no problems with you dieting. Just keep your salad out of our pizza and lett-uce eat in peace. Also, stop saying these annoying things to people who are not starving themselves to death.
1. “I’m not just on a diet. It’s a lifestyle change.”
Listen homie, your lifestyle might make you want to quit cheese and live on flavoured water but that’s not the style for my life. Live and let live!
2. “Let me show you the new workout regime I’ve started following.”
If the only reason you want to show off your new workout routine is to shame me for not joining the gym, keep it in your pants. If you think I’m interested, you’re going the wrong ‘weigh’.
3. “Being skinny feels way better than any food tastes.”
Some foods are worth all the calories and let’s clear out this misconception about how YOU need to be worried about MY body. If skinny does it for you, good for you. I’ll respect you for the same if you return the favour.
4. After eating half an apple: “I ate so much, I’m stuffed. Oh, you’re going to take another helping?”
All of us are obviously blessed with different appetites, but that doesn’t mean you get to shame someone for eating more than you do. Mend your ‘weighs’.
5. “Should you be eating that? You know that your body is your temple.”
Yes, I know MY body is MY temple so clearly, there is no need for you to get concerned about it. Our temples are allowed to function separately and just because my beliefs don’t match with yours that doesn’t mean they’re wrong.
6. “You should join the gym I go to. It’ll do wonders for you.”
Just because you want a free month at the gym through reference, you sell the idea to everyone you meet. Going to the gym is an individual’s decision.
7. “I envy people like you who are comfortable in their own bodies.”
The worst type of human beings are those who project their own insecurities on people who are probably living a content life. Sly comments on people’s bodies just because you aren’t happy with yours is no way to feel good about yourself.
8. “Do you even know how many calories are in that?”
No, I don’t and I don’t even care. Please let the world gorge on their calories while you sip on lemon water.
9. “I don’t do dairy, gluten or meat anymore. I hope you have something for me at your dinner party.”
Unless you’re allergic to any of these things, manage your own food. Demanding a special menu just for yourself while everyone else is on the same page is another way to cause inconveniences to people. Don’t be a party pooper.
10. “You should buy a smaller size for motivation.”
No, thank you. I have no intention of wasting my money on something I’ll not fit into. My common sense tells me to buy it when I can ACTUALLY use it. Motivation, you say? Dumbness, I claim.
11. “Why do we always have to go out to eat? I don’t even like food.”
Toh main kya karun? Jeena chhodd dun? Going out to eat is an acceptable form of socialising and if you have a problem with that, maybe you won’t get invited the next time.